Online Teaching, Spiritual Leadership and YouTube

You might be wondering about the last word in that title. Let me explain. I am taking a course on how to be a YouTuber. You might be even more confused now. Stay with me for this rollercoaster journey I have been on over the past several months.

It all started with the possibility of losing my online teaching job for the next year. This role has been part of my identity for the past nine years. God has been working on that idol in my life, which at the root of it all is my ego.

Before teaching online, I taught in public schools for 15 years. Part of why I left to teach online was classroom management, which seemed to become more difficult for me each year.

God delivered the job I now have to me so clearly. I sent out an inquiry letter, got an interview the next day, and was hired on the spot.

What?

Definitely a God thing.

It has been the best teaching job I have ever had. I get to teach with very few interruptions, use my creativity to design how I deliver curriculum, and work with tech tools that I truly enjoy.

Now back to the possibility of losing that job. Our numbers have been declining in the elementary grades for several years, and next year there was going to be one less third grade section and one less second grade section. I had mentioned that since I was taking Social Security this year, I did not need a full section. Another teacher needed two full sections to make ends meet and asked that my section be closed until hers filled.

That hurt. A lot.

My ego took a direct hit.

In the middle of all this, I was part of a small group at church studying spiritual leadership. I had stepped into some minor leadership roles, including helping lead a small group with my husband. At work, I had been the lead teacher for second grade for several years and had started programs such as summer phonics and reading intervention.

I was comfortable leading, but it was centered on me and my own abilities.

As I worked through the book Spiritual Leadership by J. Oswald Sanders, God began to work in my life, and it was not easy. It was a painful refining process that I am still walking through as I write this.

He was showing me my pride. Not the good kind.

The more I learned about true leadership, the more I understood that it is about serving, not being in the spotlight. Leadership does not seek its own. That is not how the world operates. The world says follow me because I am great, talented, or charismatic. Jesus taught the opposite. To lead, you must serve.

Then came a deeper conviction in a chapter titled “The Perils of Leadership.” I read this and felt completely undone:

“The test of precedence. How do we react when another is selected for the position we wanted to fill? When another is promoted in our place? When another’s gift seems greater than our own?”

Ouch.

The fact that someone else was given precedence over me felt like an attack. I immediately became defensive. I tried to fix the situation with requests, then logic, then even pleas. Nothing changed. I was offered a combination role that might include a very small class along with some tech work.

I sat with that for a long time.

Then came another moment I did not expect.

All the teachers were creating new “sneak peek” videos for next year. I reluctantly made mine and found a workaround to show the fun interactive pods we use in Adobe, since they do not appear in regular recordings. I shared this idea with some elementary teachers, and one of my friends used it to create a video that far surpassed mine. The principal sent her video out as an example, and many people were impressed, including me. This happened just minutes after a colleague texted me that I had been removed from the second grade page on the website.

So what did I feel deep down about my friend’s video?

Envy.

The sin was clear, and I immediately cried out to the Lord. Take this from me. I do not want to feel this way about someone who has been such a true friend to me, someone I deeply love.

And just like that, it was gone.

One thing became very clear. How would I respond when others outshined me? A true leader is someone who works themselves out of a job. A true leader looks for ways to support others, helping them grow and giving them space to shine. Moses did this with Joshua. Paul did this with Timothy.

Just a couple of minutes after I prayed, I received another email. This one was from my principal responding to a teacher who had asked if there would be training on the tools my friend had used in her video. My principal shared that I would be leading that training the following year. It was the first time this had been mentioned publicly.

And just like that, I became the tech coach. Not because I had the best video, but because someone else was shining. God gave me a glimpse of what leadership through servanthood looks like.

What makes this even more meaningful is that becoming a tech coach had been a goal of mine for a long time. I earned my master’s degree 14 years ago with that direction in mind, but the opportunity never came when I expected it to. Looking back, I can see that God was not withholding it. He was preparing me. He was shaping my heart, working through my pride, and teaching me what it really means to lead. When the door finally opened, it was not about recognition. It was about readiness.

Now, about YouTube.

This opportunity came from my search for additional income. I had been following Gabe Bult for his content on minimalism and frugal living, which connects closely with the message of my book. He offered a free workshop that I attended, and I was struck not only by what he taught, but by his character. There was no pressure at the end, just a thoughtful invitation to take the next step.

I joined, thinking it might simply be another way to promote my book, but it has become much more than that. It has revealed even more layers of my ego. I found myself in a position where I was asking others for technical help instead of being the one providing it. It was humbling. At the same time, I saw how Gabe gently guided people and how the community supported and encouraged one another.

The journey is just beginning, and my focus is shifting back to where it belongs: loving God and serving others.

I am learning that less really does lead to more. Less striving, less proving, less holding tightly to roles and recognition. And in its place, more peace, more clarity, and more purpose.

There is a quiet freedom in not needing to be the one who shines. In stepping back and cheering others on. In trusting that God sees, God knows, and God places us exactly where we need to be, exactly when we are ready.

This season has reminded me that calling is not something we chase or force into existence. It is something we grow into. And often, that growth happens in the hidden places, in the disappointments, and in the moments that refine us.

So whether I am teaching, coaching, creating, or simply learning alongside others, my prayer is the same. That I would lead by serving, that I would hold everything loosely, and that my life would reflect Him more than it reflects me.

Because in the end, that is what truly matters.